As we grow into our lives as elders, our dreams shape shift along with our bodies. The result can be unexpected delight and new pleasures.

Throughout this recent election cycle, I have heard a lot of references to the American Dream. Let the politicians talk; it is our own personal dreams that drive us forward and define our own futures.

When my children were growing up, one of our favorite books featured a cutout hole where the illustration’s face should be. Each child could put a picture of themselves in the hole, and as they turned the pages of the book they saw their own face peeking through the page. They could imagine themselves as an artist, ballerina, circus acrobat, farmer, or whatever was depicted on the page. Ah, such fun to imagine and try on these different roles.

Dreams do shape our future: they point out our direction, at least for that moment in time.

It’s true! Dreams do shape our future: they point out our direction, at least for that moment in time. As a dear friend used to say, “Today’s imagination is tomorrow’s realization.” Yet, our hopes and dreams change and evolve as we do; delightfully, they get deeper and more meaningful as we age.

When we are children, our dreams tend to be around simple desires: eating ice cream, going swimming, jumping on a pogo stick 100 times without falling, and having lots of friends. As adolescents we may dream of being popular, climbing a tall mountain, running for class president, or being chosen for the play. As young adults taking on careers, we may dream of having a mate and children, sending the kids to good schools, buying a boat, or taking family vacations abroad. Some also dream of making a difference to the community or to society as a whole.

As we get older, many people experience a turning in their dreams, away from material wishes and toward spiritual matters: As we mature, we long for a greater understanding of our existence and our reason for being.

Dreams serve to keep us going in the right direction and can give us the energy to drive toward our goals. But do dreams always come true? No, not always. Life is rife with disappointments, obstacles may get in the way, and doors may close. Consider the Olympic athlete who, after spending years in training, doesn’t qualify for their event, or the student who doesn’t get that scholarship. Then what? As Springsteen sang, “Is a dream a lie if it don’t come true, or is it something worse?”

Taking a different perspective can help us better understand and accept a situation.

When things don’t go the way we had imagined — when our dreams don’t come true — we can benefit from using a technique called re-framing. The idea is to put the same picture or event in a different frame and look at it from a different perspective, just as my children did with their book. Taking a different perspective can help us better understand and accept a situation; however, this new view often requires just the passage of time and gaining of maturity, which, fortunately, is a gift as we acquire with age.

Consider the student who didn’t get a scholarship to play sports, but eventually begins to realize that the job he got instead pushed him in a better direction. Or the 40-something professional who, when denied a promotion, was inspired to go back to school and finally pursued her real dream. Maybe the student can see one door closed and another opened as it happened — likely not though. It takes a reflective heart and a clearer mind to understand that these so-called disappointments can truly be the best gifts.

Through the experience of re-framing we may develop an understanding of the bigger picture of what happened and see that instead of achieving the original “dream,” a greater opportunity was gained.

As we age, we often find it necessary to adjust our dreams.

As we age, we often find it necessary to adjust our dreams. It was once the American Dream to own a home, attain financial success, and watch your children grow into an even richer life than you had. For so many of us, this may no longer be a realistic or sustainable dream. Changing times require us to redefine success and redefine our dreams, sometimes consciously but often without even realizing it. Each day our hopes and dreams change, sometimes noticeably, sometimes more subtly. We may pay close attention to the changes or make the shift without noticing. We dance with our new dreams, which have changed because of our outer experiences, our physical circumstances, and our inner growth and maturity.

What I wished for when I was a child has little meaning for me now. But what are my dreams now? What is in my heart of hearts, what goal am I reaching for now? Somewhere along my path, my values shifted from doing for myself to doing for others. I found that my own joy increased when I was cheerful and could be of help to others. I get so much simple pleasure from caring for the plants in my window box. Simple pleasures.

My dreams are my own and no one else’s.

One thing I’ve learned along the way is that happiness, for me, comes when I make efforts to live according to my values and not judge others. My dreams are my own and no one else’s. And they are valid and worth pursuing. As a 92-year-old friend of mine said at a recent round table, “We’re not at the end of the road yet; life is still evolving for each one of us. It is still possible to reach our dreams.”

Oh, I do so agree with her. Dreams are wonderful things; our past dreams have fashioned our present, and our current dreams propel us toward a meaningful future. Our dreams are always evolving as we grow. As long as I am living, I plan to embrace my journey toward my dreams.