There is no doubt that life is a series of adventures. At times we are on rough seas with no land in sight; this might feel like an exhilarating challenge or a hopeless battle. At other times when the seas are calmer, we might have a feeling of peace or be lulled into a bored complacency.

“…all adventures broaden our awareness and help us think outside the box”

Whether our adventures involve climbing mountains or crossing seas, all adventures broaden our awareness and help us think outside the box — outside of what society, our parents, a spouse, or even what we ourselves might expect from our lives.

But what about the space in between our adventures, the often uncomfortable time when things seem out of balance or without focus? What can we learn from these times when we feel somewhat off course?

Renee Rose Shield defines this state as “liminality” (Rose, 1997), an anthropological term that comes from the Latin word meaning a “threshold.” It is an ambiguous, in-between time, a transitional state, often connected with a process or change, such as retiring from a career you love or moving into an assisted living community.

Shield explains that there are three parts to creating change in our lives. The first is letting go of the past, the second is being in limbo (the liminal phase), and the third is creating a new path. She explains that the use of ritual during these three parts can offer support and understanding as we move from letting go to moving forward.

These liminal stages may not be comfortable but are a good opportunity to reset our compass. Just as sailors adjust their course in the calm after a storm, we can make use of this time in between to refocus and find a new path. The liminal state offers an important pause, a time out, where we may question, reevaluate, struggle, and come out the other side with a new direction that is closer to our authentic selves.

What are we seeking? When I do a survey of my friends, I come up with ideas like:

• To become whole
• To find our way home
• To be present
• To be OK when life is hard
• To hold it together for the family
• To go to the source
• To be part of a community
• To make change in the world
• To be satisfied with our path

And, with the additional years allotted us due to the increasing lifespan, there are people to help us find our way to continued meaning in life. For example, AARP has a program called “Life Reimagined” that encourages seniors to look at their lives from a fresh perspective; there is a Website called Encore Career that helps elders “combine purpose, passion and a paycheck”; and there are recent books by Dr. Bill Thomas (Thomas, 2014) and Jane Pauley (Pauley, 2014) that help us navigate what can be the most challenging — and most fulfilling — stage of our lives. All of these sources ask us to check in with ourselves to see what is important and offer ideas that may stimulate us to grow in ways that are satisfying and meaningful.

I am inspired by my 60-something friend who just returned from an adventure. She had a strong desire to connect with the elders and the shamans living in the mountainous region of Columbia. She embarked on this journey with a combination of planning, what she could manage to carry on her back, and faith, not knowing for sure if she would be allowed entry into the community. She left seeking and returned glowing with a renewed sense of purpose and meaning in her life.

I am in one of those transitional, in-limbo stages of my life right now.

In winter, seeds lie dormant, waiting out the winter. Likewise, I believe, our ideas for our future plans lie quiescent, biding their time for the right season.

I am in one of those transitional, in-limbo stages of my life right now. For the past 18 years, I have given my all to starting a nonprofit business. It is now clearly time for me to let go of running the business and make way for the next stage, both for the business and myself. But for now I am in limbo, neither here nor there. The skies seem cloudy, and I am unable to get my bearings.

I think back to the Shield article and her suggestion to use a “letting-go” ritual when leaving one phase of life and entering into another. Perhaps this will free me to reimagine my future without old assumptions. I can’t say that it is a barrel of fun, but I have hope that I will emerge from this period with my compass set to a course that is ever closer to my true north.