Featured Articles
Advice for the Journey
by Arica VanGelderen, LLMSW
Liv Fun: Vol 5 – Issue 2
Q: I have always been an independent person, almost to a fault. I wait until the absolute last minute to ask my husband for help opening a jar, carrying the groceries inside, or even fixing the flat tire on my bike! I hate being seen as someone who needs help doing anything.
The problem is, after my hip replacement surgery a couple of months ago, I haven’t been able to take care of myself like I used to. I still avoid asking anyone for help, which means struggling or neglecting most physical tasks. My husband and daughter have realized that I need more help than I am letting on, and they are starting to hover around me to make sure I have everything I need.
I hate being seen as a victim, and it’s starting to affect my relationships with them. I know I need to find some sort of balance, but I have no idea how to do that.
A: It makes sense that you are finding it hard to balance your sense of independence with this new set of physical needs. It sounds like you associate the idea of asking for help with weakness, especially since you’ve always taken pride in the fact that you are strong and capable.
You probably feel that asking for help means admitting — to yourself and your family — that you are weak, which is why you are avoiding it.
Liv Fun
by Leisure Care
Summer 2016
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Advice for the Journey
by Arica VanGelderen, LLMSWQ: I have always been an independent person, almost to a fault. I wait until the absolute last minute to ask my husband for help opening a jar, carrying the groceries inside, or even fixing the flat tire on my bike! I hate being seen as someone who needs help doing anything.
Find My Purpose? In This Mess?
by Jeff Wozer
I, without my consent, own 57 T-shirts. How or when this happened, I don’t know. I thought maybe 20, 25 at the most. But not 57. It’s an embarrassing number, bordering on fetish. Even more embarrassing is that I weighed the T-shirts, the cause behind this triggered more by guilt than curiosity. For they say it’s not what you eat that creates guilt-inducing motivation, but rather how much you weigh.
I Broke Angkor Wat
by Pam Mandel
The crowd faced east, awaiting the rising sun. Seeking a little space from which to observe what was billed as a transcendental moment, our little group of friends wandered across the open grass to a freestanding pavilion of delicately carved 12th century stone. In bracing myself between the footing and the window sill, I pulled away a chunk of rock about the size of a loaf of bread.